Things have been busy...

...and I just haven't taken the time to write any blog posts.  I want to get back into it and with the fall semester coming to an end in two short weeks I should start having more time.

I'm going to share with you some big things (I think anyways) that have happened since my last blog post.

• I maintained the same weight from August 30th until November 29th.  It's not what I was hoping to do but at least I didn't gain.  Tuesday marked the day I re-committed to my weight loss journey.  No matter how many times I have to do this I will until I've reached my goals.  And speaking of goals I have an upcoming mini goal of losing 5 pounds by December 31st and a bigger mini goal of losing 20 pounds by April 1st.  This should give me something to blog about. :)
• I have been soda free since Tuesday.  If you knew me in "real life" you would know that soda has always been a part of my life, and has probably contributed to my weight gain over the years.  Because it's always been a part of my life saying no is such a tough thing to do.  I have had a headache Wednesday evening and yesterday afternoon through the night.  I am hoping that today I'm past the headache stage because having that headache just makes me want to give in to the craving of having a soda even more.  I've kept myself sane by having a drink or two here or there from my mom's.  But even she's trying to be better about her soda intake so at least I'm not completely alone in this struggle.  The weekend is going to be the hardest struggle of them all but I'm going to stay strong and say no!  Cutting out soda should help with the weight loss so I'm going to really work at staying on track with this.
• I went out a total of four nights last week; three of the four nights I was out until the bars closed.  It's messed with my sleeping schedule a bit since I was getting used to sleeping until 11:30 to make up for being up until the wee hours of the morning.  But I'm getting that back on track and I think the messed up sleep schedule was completely worth it.  I've been having a great time going out and meeting new people and reconnecting with those I already know.  So far this week I haven't gone any where but it's only 10 am on Friday so the weekend is still early - never know where it will take you!

That's probably about the biggest stuff that's been going on in my life that's actually blog worthy.  With only two weeks left of the semester I'm realizing that I have a lot of work to get done in not a whole lot of time any more.  With that being said if I disappear for another two-ish weeks you know that my head is buried in a book or I'm typing away on a computer for school.  I finally have a battery charger for my camera so maybe I'll remember to take some pictures during these upcoming weeks so when I do have a chance to blog again I can share with you all a bit better what I was up to.

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving the other week.  I can't believe it's December already and Christmas is right around the corner!  I look forward to the break from school coming up so I can spend more time reading and writing blog posts.  Talk to you all again soon!

What the H-E-double hockey sticks am I doing??

Just so you know this post is probably not going to be very positive so if you don't want to read a negative Nelly post skip this one.  And I apologize that it seems like I probably do a lot of negative posts but honestly, that's how I feel and this blog is for me to get those negative feelings out there instead of holding them in.

Lately I am wondering what the h-e double hockey sticks I am doing with my life.  More specifically my health and school.

Thursday I biked with my friend Sami.  I planned to take Friday off and bike again alone or with my dad Saturday or Sunday.  I did neither.

Thursday afternoon through Sunday I basically was a couch potato and accomplished nothing other than reading blogs and watching TV.  I had homework that needed to get done like yesterday.

I now have a lot on my plate for this afternoon/evening after I get home from work.  I am going to feel overwhelmed and will probably resist just sitting down and getting it all done.

And I'm wondering why...

I mean seriously, why would I choose to not use the time available to work on homework so I can avoid feeling overwhelmed?

Why would I choose to not use the time available to bike as planned?  Am I really that lazy?

School is approaching the end (thank God!) but I still have so much to do and I just don't know what has turned me into the student who is fine with turning assignments in late, or not doing them at all.  I never was this way, even in high school when I started my procrastination.

I keep talking about how I want to lose weight, and how after my most recent appointment with my doctor in April I need to lose weight for medical reasons but yet I'm still not putting the effort in on my own time.

I can't rely on a work out buddy.  I need to do this on my own most of the time.

I've blogged about my plans and struggles to give up Mountain Dew, or really soda in general, but I have yet to really stick to the plan and follow through.  I keep saying it's because it is available in my house.  But we all know that's just an excuse.  Yes, it would be easier to kick the habit if it wasn't in the house but it is my choice.  I can just say no if I really want to.  Same with at work and at school.  Is it available for me to buy from a vending machine?  Yes.  Do I have to buy one?  NO!

Why is it so hard for me to just say no to soda??

I just feel extremely frustrated with myself lately.  I don't understand what I need to feel like in order for it to set in that I'm doing this to myself and I can change my ways to not feel frustrated and every other negative feeling.

I hope I can turn things around before I hit "rock bottom" and just feel so terrible that I have to make the necessary changes.

If you stuck around this long, thank you.  I appreciate the time it took you to read this and leave a comment.

Goal: Be more positive.  Find something good I've done each day.  Make more good things happen each day.  Be the person I want to be, not the person I make myself be.